catherine - 6/16 - Catherine Nelson

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8th Grade Sucks

By | Dear Sons & Daughters | 2 Comments

Today is the very last day of middle school for the very last Nelson. Hallelujah and Good Riddance. 8th grade sucks. It is awkward, socially dysfunctional, emotionally unstable and confusing. It is chock-full of hormones, insecurities, algebra and smelly feet. I hated 8th grade. My husband and first 3 children hated it too, and now it is finished. I am so happy that I will never have to parent or participate in any middle school activities ever again. I feel free and Mary Moore and I are celebrating.

We are rejoicing that it is over, but we are also celebrating all the things that happened along the way.

I am truly amazed and thankful for teachers and youth leaders who choose to spend their time and talent on and who selflessly love and nurture middle schoolers. I would hope that their mansions in heaven are big and bejeweled. These saints who loved on Mary Moore this year earned those jewels. 8th grade is rough for many, but I think it was especially hard on M2. M2 suffered a brain injury before she was adopted into our family. As a result, she is developmentally delayed and it takes her 4x as long to learn and retain information. This tiny chic rose to the challenge and finished middle school with the same grades that her brother and sister did. She rarely complained. She recognized the mountain before her for what it was and she climbed and climbed. She made it to the top and she is doing back handsprings on the summit.

Looking back on this 4-year arduous, tear-stained, zitty, smelly trek, there were beautiful wellsprings along the way. She discovered that she has an innate ability to tumble like Mary Lou. She is marking 5’1” on the growth chart and we never dared to hope she would get out of the 4’ range. She has a delightful friend group. She has a crush on a boy. She has figured out over 80% of Algebra. She is moving on to high school with a big and still slightly-crooked, metallic smile.

As I reflect on her middle school season, I am encouraged and motivated to keep climbing (or just keep swimming) through the transitional and arduous seasons of my life. Learning patience and humility, mending relationships and eradicating bad habits can be grueling, but these are the times we have to get through in order to be ready for the next season. These lessons take time and they are often painful, but just like a cast on a broken leg they are vital if we are going to reach the summit and stand on steady legs.

We can’t rush the learning. By their very nature, healing, chiseling and seasoning take time. As much as M2 would have loved to skip the 8th grade, she needed to learn foundational math and social etiquette and better hygiene in order to be ready for high school.

If you are in an arduous season of learning, be patient. Just keep swimming. You will eventually graduate and move on. These seasons feel sucky, but they are so good for you. You have to wear the cast if your broken leg is going to heal properly, and you have to endure the spiritual chiseling to be conformed to Christ. While you are in your personal 8th grade season, drink deeply out of the wellsprings provided along the way. There are some amazing teachers and counselors and friends who are all around you. These saints have been put in your midst to encourage and cheer you on.

When you graduate, RUN! Remember the lessons, slam the door and leap into your new frontier.

 

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

“You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord,

“and my servant whom I have chosen,

so that you may know and believe me

and understand that I am he.

Before me no god was formed,

nor will there be one after me.

I, even I, am the Lord,

and apart from me there is no savior.

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland.

because I provide water in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland,

to give drink to my people, my chosen,

the people I formed for myself

that they may proclaim my praise.”

Isaiah 43: 1-3,10-11, 19-21 (NIV)

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The evolution of Mother’s day

By | Dear Sons & Daughters | 2 Comments

When they were babies, their dad would gather them up early on Sunday morning and take them out for donuts so I could have the luxury of extra primping time and a childfree car ride to church on Sunday morning. When they were in grade school, they made fingerprint flower paintings, crepe-paper corsages and decoupage picture frames that I would find wrapped in brown paper packages tucked in the bottom of their double-handle book bags. By the time middle school rolled around, they would head down to the kitchen on Mother’s day, toast a bagel, pour a cup of coffee and rouse me from my fake-sleep with a breakfast tray. In the past few years, our teenagers have given me coupon books, and candy studded poster board poems, and a car wash.

Mother’s day will bring more changes this year. Our oldest will arrive home this weekend while the others cram for exams. We will spend what will likely be our only Sunday at church together this summer before we enjoy lunch out as a family of 6. While the kids study and unpack, Pat and I will take a nap or spend sometime working in my garden. This mother’s day will not cost a lot of money, take a lot of time or make a big impression when I look back and review 2015, but in its simplicity, it will be glorious.

The simplicity of this Mother’s day fits appropriately in with the simple life I am living. I am so blessed to be a mom every single day I wake up, but I don’t wake up every morning and think, “Wow! I am somebody’s mother… What an outrageous blessing!” I haven’t woken up with that as my first thought in over 20 years. The fact that I am the mom of 4 amazing kids is incredible; it is something I longed and prayed for, but I have gotten used to it.

We do that with blessings. We pray for opportunities, jobs, safety, healing, babies, husbands, and successes. We rejoice when our prayers are answered, but our rejoicing is often short-lived; even the glossiest treasure loses its shine with time. Finding out you made the play or the team is thrilling, but showing up for practice 60% of the way through isn’t always as spine-tingling. The 3rd semester of college isn’t as astonishing as freshman orientation. The dream job becomes the daily grind. Tripping over your husband’s large shoes doesn’t evoke whispers of praise for the fulfillment of the man you longed for. The first cry of a newborn doesn’t sound as melodic coming from the mouth of a 3month old at 4a.m. You grow accustomed to waking up pain-free in your air-conditioned home in your lovely neighborhood in a country that stands for freedom.

On a day when everyone is reminded to celebrate mothers, enjoy the reminder to remember. Be blessed to recall how amazing your life is. This Sunday, I know that dozens of people will wish me a happy Mother’s day. I will hear it from my family and at church and from strangers at lunch. I am giving myself a challenge in thankfulness to use their well wishes as a call to freak out over the amazing truth it is that I actually am a mom. Giving thanks to God for this truth is a lot more fulfilling than taking my own bow. The dream I had as a little girl has been fulfilled 4 times over. I plan on having a personal brain party every time I hear that phrase on Sunday. I may only reply with “Thank you”, but I am going to be enjoying a secret joy dance with God over His choice to bless me by making me a mom. It takes effort to dance, but it is a lot more fun than sitting quietly on the side. When we make the effort to engage in active praise, we escape the numbness of our monotony.

We are blessed when we remember. Sometimes we need cues to trigger our memory and praises. I don’t know all of the ways that you have been blessed, but I know that you have been. I know this because I know that the same God who created the universe and everything in it loves to bless His children.

He answers prayers and He loves to hear, “Thank you.” Enjoy the joy of remembering His blessings toward you. Take time to remember the thrill of the freshness of firsts. The blessing of being healthy or free or loved or married or employed is no less a blessing on day 700 than it was on day 1. You may have gotten used to it, but it is still such a huge deal that you are a graduate or a student or a dad or a mom or a doctor or a teacher or whatever you are.  Be blessed today to find a cue or trigger that will flame the joy of your answered prayers. You are living the life that God designed especially for you. Today is a great day to celebrate.

“The Lord bless you

and keep you;

the Lord make his face shine on you

and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn his face toward you

and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26 (NIV)

 

“May he give you the desire of your heart

and make all your plans succeed.” Psalm 20:4 (NIV)

 

“I will give You thanks with all my heart;

I will sing Your praise before the heavenly beings.[a]

I will bow down toward Your holy temple

and give thanks to Your name

for Your constant love and truth.

You have exalted Your name

and Your promise above everything else.

On the day I called, You answered me;

You increased strength within me. “ Psalm 138:1-3 (NIV)

 “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil…..  and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have forgotten your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent.” Revelation 2:2-5 abbr. (NJKV)

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Ransacked

By | Agape Love | No Comments

There is so much going on… big stuff and so much of it is encased in heartache. The Supreme Court has made a decision that has affected every American. We are debating and praying and learning new ways to live and love. Racial tensions are still extreme and as we debate these problems too, our hopes for healing seem hard to hold on to. This weekend while picking up and dropping off 2 of my campers, I learned that my precious cousin had lost her battle with breast cancer. As my girls were crying about leaving camp, I could not hold back my tears over the tragic loss of such a precious woman. My brain and heart are maxed out and I am not smart enough to make sense of it all.

When we arrived home from the camp fetch and dump, I immediately headed to my garden. It brings me peace and it brings me added joy when I have been gone for a few summer days. I am always thrilled to see what has grown or ripened and my harvest hands itch to get to my crop. As I walked around the corner to the garden, I could not believe my eyes. Everything was gone. Every tomato, cucumber, squash, berry, pepper, watermelon and even all the dahlias and zinnias were gone. The pillaging appears to be human and totally complete. As the swarms of evening mosquitoes feasted on my ankles, I wandered around the small perimeter of my happy place looking for any tiny remnants of my summer project. My full brain and stretched heart collided with my disappointment and I cried and laughed at the same time. I must have looked like a lunatic. Everything was ransacked. I wanted to figure out a positive spin on the pillaging, but I couldn’t. There were no lemons to make lemonade with.

When bad stuff happens, the pervasive and bland instruction we globally get is keep your chin up. Christians are told to rejoice always, but I always feel that I have to understand in order to rejoice. I need to be given a promise or glimpse into how the future will pan out. I need to understand why a young mom had to die, or why a teenager would kill 9 people at a prayer meeting. I know God has a reason for everything, but I feel like I need Him to share it with me if I am going to be able to authentically rejoice.

I grew up in the Amy Grant 80’s and unintentionally incorporated some of her lyrics into my belief system:

“Angels watching over me every step I take… God only knows the times my life was threatened just today. A reckless car ran out of gas before it ran my way.”

I do believe that God is watching over me and sees everything and is on the throne and has a plan and it is good, but I also need to humble myself and remember that I am not entitled to know what His plan is. I am not always privy to realizing that a “reckless car ran out of gas before it ran my way.” The reason we rejoice is NOT because we can SEE how the heartaches and trials during our time on earth turn out for the better. We rejoice because we know who God is. We rejoice because His way is always best…even when we don’t understand. We rejoice because He is sovereign. We rejoice that we are not God. We rejoice that He keeps His promises. We rejoice because He is coming again to take us home.

When life is tragic and confusing and our brains and hearts are full and we can’t make sense of anything, we rejoice. We rejoice that this is not our real home. We are not called to understand. We are called to obey and rejoice. He is enjoyable.

He has numbered our days and has counted every hair on our heads. He collects our tears. He establishes kingdoms and He knocks them down. He made my garden grow and knows it is gone. He is good. He is always good. Rejoice always, and again I say rejoice.

“God reigns over the nations;

God sits on His holy throne.

For the shields of the earth belong to God;

He is greatly exalted.” Psalm 47:8-9 (NKJV)

 

“Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!  Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.  The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:4-9 (NKJV)

 

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Someone else’s awards day

By | Dear Sons & Daughters | One Comment

Only a few weeks left of school, and the Nelson kiddos are all feeling the pressure of boosting their 4th quarter grades in order to have a better cushion going into exam time. We dread the thought of summer school and mandatory extra help. As much as I am celebrating their efforts and achievement of making it through another year, they will not be celebrated in a bigger forum this year. It is awards season for all our young scholars and we won’t need to clear any shelf space for shiny trophies at the Nelson house. This was one of those years when we struggled to just keep our heads above water. I’m very thankful that our schools average in the A’s from P. E. class into the overall GPA.

The 2014-15 school year has been riddled with struggle. The kids, their dad and I have struggled with understanding new concepts, relationships, poor performance, healthy lifestyle, broken hearts, backsliding, diverted dreams, the frustration of repeated mistakes, insecurities and a constant drain from the lack of time in a 24 hour day.

There have been years that could have been designated as the Year of Nelson. While marching through those years, I am sure I posted more pictures on Instagram and Facebook. I probably peacocked around bowing and eloquently supplying my audience with the nauseating humble brag. I know I said things like, “Thank you, but her greatest attribute is her kind heart”, and “God is so good. I’m humbled that He chose to give these talents to my son.” Blech. I promise, I did not feel humble in my heart. When my kids got awards, I believed they earned them outright and I was thrilled that everyone was exposed to their achievements.

Please don’t misunderstand me. My kids have beautiful hearts and any talent they have is a gracious gift and responsibility from the Lord. They work hard and I am proud of their hard work. I am no less proud when their best efforts are C’s and my adoration of them is not diminished when their neck isn’t encircled with an MVP ribbon, but when I dropped my daughters off at school today, I was a little harrumphed. Today was another spring awards day and I had no reason to change out of my sweats and hustle back for the ceremony. To add to my pissy mood, I noticed that the hems of both of their uniform skirts were out and I wallowed over my constant tether to the mountain of laundry that I had plenty of time to attend to as I wouldn’t be in attendance at awards day.

With Mt. Laundry glaring at me in the den, I knew I needed to spend some quality time refocusing before wielding my laundry axe and strapping on my crampons. Today is Someone else’s awards day, but JOY is set before me.

“Whoever offers praise glorifies Me;

And to him who orders his conduct aright

I will show the salvation of God.” Psalm 50:23 (NKJV)

If you are one of those people who are instinctively able to celebrate the achievements of other people’s children, kudos to you. If you find it taxing to cheer for a kid who has been mean to your kid or difficult to add your extoling voice to the glorification of a kid who wins absolutely everything or if you find it hard to celebrate the smug, we are kindred spirits, and we need the Holy Spirit.

When we set our minds on Christ and celebrate Him, our focus is set straight. In a sinful, exhausting, unbalanced and unfair world, we cannot rejoice with sincerity unless we have a helper. We have to be purposeful about loosening our grip on our rights and entitlements. Our desire for fairness will lead to unhappiness. Our desire should be solely based in Christ and the joy of being claimed by and loved by Him.

I have been watching NBC’s “A.D.-The Bible continues” and I was intrigued by their interpretation of Pentecost. In their depiction of Pentecost, a fireball shot out of the sky like a laser and burst in and all through the room where the disciples have gathered. It was aggressive and frightening and at its conclusion, all 12 disciples were energized, empowered and full of joy. They set out with a focused purpose of telling their neighbors and enemies the great news that Jesus is alive. Before they were heated up with this fiery force, they grumbled and wobbled in fear, but with the spirit, they knew they could do anything.

I needed that reminder of how incredibly powerful the Holy Spirit is. I have been in the habit of thinking of Him as only a helper, but He is so much more. I need more than help. I need someone else to take the lead and captain the ship. I will continue to fail when I try to do everything on my own. I can’t smile about the laundry or be patient as I tutor algebra, but with the Holy Spirit, I can do these and so much more. I can rejoice in everything and love the unlovely. I can celebrate someone else’s awards day and mean it.

The real celebration is in knowing that when I am weak and I fail, Christ gets to shine. Dear friends, I hope that as your school year wraps up, you will find joy in the celebration. You have been given the greatest award that no one can ever snatch away. Today is your award’s day too.

 

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NKJV)

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39 (NLT)

 

 

 

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Weed-colored glasses

By | Agape Love | No Comments

Last week I was able to indulge in some relaxed and peaceful time at the lake. The erratic and unpredictable spring weather in the Mid-south delivered 3 rainless comfortable days. The fish were biting and the mosquitoes were not. As we celebrated my dad’s 70th birthday, the echoes of his grandchildren’s laughter carried across the glassy water. The purple martins contributed their song to all the laughter while the adults relaxed in the back and forth sway of their rocking chairs.

With all this beauty and perfect harmony surrounding me, I was on edge. It was springtime in the Mid-south in the country and therefore, I knew there were snakes nearby. If anyone had trained their eyes on me, they would have watched me scan the lake, tilt my head up to the trees and gingerly and cautiously take every step with trepidation. I am terrified of snakes. It is not a prejudicial fear. I’m scared of nonpoisonous as well as venomous snakes. Green, black, brown, patterned, fanged, small or large, it doesn’t matter. They threaten my peace and permeate my dreams when I am at the lake. As alert as I was to establishing their presence last week, I never saw even one. I really enjoyed my brief lake escape last week, but I know I would have noticed more beauty, laughed more deeply and slept more soundly if I didn’t pepper every element with my persistent snake searching.

Our attitudes, actions and demeanor are molded by perspective.

When I was a little girl, I remember reading a story about 2 sisters who decided to go outside and pick some flowers for their mom. After an hour or so of flower hunting, one sister gave up because she couldn’t find any flowers, but the second sister returned home with an armful of dandelions, clover and Queen Anne’s lace. Her bouquet was as big and beautiful as the smile on her face. The moral of the story was that in life, you will miss out on so much beauty if you look at everything with a “weed filter”.

I am guilty of wearing weed-colored glasses. I am quick to recognize what is flawed. I search for flaws with the intent to correct and perfect. I wallow in regret over sins and even beg for directive words of correction. I have a quick eye for dust in my home, and a quick ear for poor grammar from my kids. I’m prompt to pluck a stray eyebrow or grey hair and any weed in my yard is terminated and trashed at first sight. I am slower to celebrate and notice the bouquets of beauty all around me.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” Colossians 3:16 (NIV)

Along with the church in Colossae, I need admonishment through psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. There is an exquisite richness that fills our soul and restores our vision when our eyes are focused on the beauty of Jesus. The psalms teach and train us to prioritize praise. They help us be the worshipers we were created to be. The God of mercy and grace has given us new hearts that no longer carry the shame of sin and ugliness. Because of His grace, we are set free to rejoice and sing. We are released from the chains of self-criminalization, internal weed whacking and the anxiety laced perusal of a perilous environment. We are safe and secure in the embrace of our savior. We are deemed worthy and clean and delightful.

Today we have been given the glorious reminder to spend some time in the psalms. We get to fix our focus and encourage each other with hymns and spiritual songs. Be encouraged. If you are wearing weed-colored glasses, take them off. Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.

 

“You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellence of Him who called you out of darkness and into His marvelous light.” ! Peter 2 :9 (ESV)

 

“Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that thou art.

Thou my best thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.”

 

“Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,

Thou mine inheritance now and always:

Thou and thou only, first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my treasure Thou art.”

Eleanor Hull 1905

 

 

 

 

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The world’s #1 dad

By | Dear Sons & Daughters | One Comment

This is one of my favorite pictures. Just before the photographer snapped it, Dad and I were standing in the closed Narthex of our church. As we waited for the double doors to open so he could walk me down the aisle, I was wrecked with nervous tears. My precious dad recognized my instability and saved the day. He knew instinctively that a protective hug or tender assurances would only exacerbate my wobble, and so he distracted me with Kentucky basketball trivia. #BBN This wonderful man is my hero and he turns 70 this week. 70!!!! This milestone birthday has provided a beautiful time for me to reflect on the life, love and legacy of this great man. I love my dad. He consistently models integrity, loyalty, kindness and generosity. He is a great leader and businessman. He has successfully managed and grown a respected construction company for decades. He loves his company and cares deeply for all the people who work with him. He has shepherded and patiently encouraged my husband to take on the role that he has held for decades. Dad has loved and encouraged Pat as a mentor and father.

He loves being a father. Dad started taking me on dates when I was a child and he continues to do so today. He has always been faithful to make time for each of us. He made sure we knew that we were cherished and important. He listens and shares the wisdom he has grown in through experiences, study and observation. He tells great stories and is quick to laugh when listening to other’s stories. He is vulnerable enough to empathize and share his personal frustrations.

He faithfully attended our athletic games. If you ask him to, he will happily recall the successes (mostly attributed to my brother) and less than successful attempts that we made in our competitive endeavors. You will continue to find him in the stands of the gym, lacrosse, soccer, or football field cheering for his grandkids as they embrace their own love for sports.

Dad doesn’t limit himself to the role of spectator. He continues to play tennis. He really loves playing doubles with family members. Writing this almost inspires me to pick up my racket again; he was my favorite partner. I always loved our time together on the court. In addition to his tennis hobby, dad loves to fish and hunt. He is a voracious reader.

He adores my mom. We tease sometimes that he is a sucker for a pretty girl, and that is most blatantly displayed in his relationship with my beautiful mom. My mom is motivated by projects, causes and opportunities to serve. As great a leader as he is, he is gracious to listen, embrace and support each of my mom’s endeavors. This respect and affection for mom has rooted him in the church nursery every Sunday for nearly 40 years. It has lead him to Young Life camps, mission opportunities in India, Ukraine, Africa and most recently, Orange Mound. He recognizes her gifts and passion and he gets involved. When he does, he becomes passionate too.

More than sports, family, the company or even mom, my dad loves the Lord. He feeds his love for Jesus by spending time in prayer and in the word. He has faithfully met with a handful of men every Thursday for decades to study and pray. He is an elder at our church and has been steadfast to serve the church with his time, obedience, finances and heart.

I haven’t always obeyed my dad. I lied as a child and had my moments as a disrespectful teen. Sometimes I was rude; sometimes I abused his generosity. I’m sure my carelessness, laziness and selfishness frustrated him and caused him to worry. I never doubted his love for me. When I screwed up, he embraced and forgave me. He didn’t withhold love. He didn’t shut me out or turn his back on me. He was wise in handing out punishment and discipline. These were vital components of his fatherly love.

When we have our lunch dates now, Dad never brings up the bad stuff I did in the past, and he has a great memory. When I sought his forgiveness, he wholeheartedly gave it. Dads do that (moms do too). The role of father is a weighty one. It is a high privilege and beautiful responsibility to raise up children. God in his great wisdom identified himself as our Father. Everyone understands what the role of father means. God wants us to understand…. To see him as Father…. To embrace our role as sons and daughters. Whether you have a deadbeat dad or a great dad like mine, he falls way short in comparison. Our Heavenly Father is the only perfect father.

He is perfect in his love, forgiveness and wisdom. He gave us all our gifts and talents. He takes joy in cheering for us as we use these gifts. He doesn’t keep a record of our wrongs. He picks us up when we fall and holds our hand as he leads us in the steps he has established for us. He shares his wisdom and listens to our stories and sympathizes with our frustrations. His desire is to spend cherished time with us. He shares his inheritance and legacy with us.

Brothers and sisters, embrace your dad. He has your back. Spend some time reflecting on who He is and what His gifts are. Stop dwelling on yourself, your mistakes, and your junk. He wants to celebrate with you the joy He takes in being your dad. The world’s #1 dad loves you. He delights in you. Celebrate that and celebrate Him. Tell Him how much you love Him; He never gets tired of telling you.

 

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” 1 John 3:1 (NIV)

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:11 (NIV)

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Screaming at God

By | Agape Love | No Comments

Why do the bad guys keep winning? Why do neighbors hate each other? Why do cheaters win? Why do liars get their minute in the limelight? Why do children get cancer and good men die young and mean people live to be 100? I hate sin. I grieve over my sin. Why does God keep convicting and working on me while letting criminals and cheaters and liars off the hook?

These questions took over all my thoughts this morning as my prayers became aggressive shouts mixed with tears. (Poor Kevin and Donut. My tears and shouts made them very nervous.) Have you ever been there? Please tell me that I am not the only one who professes to be a Christian but still gets so mad at God.

Faith really is a miracle. The transformation that takes place in a heart, so that the eternal is more important than the temporal is amazing. This thinking is so unnatural; it just doesn’t make sense. When I look at the pattern of injustice and how evil continues to boast and take victory laps, I am astounded that I can still say, “I trust you, God.”

As I was moaning about temporal trials this morning, the truth that God’s ways and thoughts are higher than mine interrupted my tirade. I responded to this truth with, “I know (sigh). I know, but it just doesn’t seem fair!” I asked God to smite and discipline offenders and encourage and elevate the innocent, and I remembered that God doesn’t give us a stone when we ask for bread. Because I trust He knows better, I am humble enough to realize it’s possible I am asking for stones and He is giving me delicious and satisfying bread instead. As unpleasant as His discipline is, I know it is a display of His love for me. He disciplines those He loves.

As my blood pressure returned to a healthier level, I remembered this verse:

“Many, O Lord are your wonderful works which you have done; and your thoughts toward me cannot be recounted in order; if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.” Psalm 40:5 (NKJV)

… and then I wished I could read that list of His thoughts toward me.

This morning, you may feel like screaming at God. Your circumstances may feel like more than you can bear, or maybe not. No matter what is going on in your life right now, everyone needs to be reminded of that list. Here is a portion (in the vernacular of Catherine) of what God says about you:

I will never leave you. I will never turn my back on you (Josh 1:5) I will never lie to you. (Numbers 23:19) I am faithful. You can trust me. (Deut. 7:9) I think about you more than a nursing mom thinks about her baby. (Is 49:15) I am always with you and I will save you. When I look at you, I sing songs of gladness, because you are mine and I love you. (Zeph 3:17) I have great things in store for you. Be hopeful about your future. (Jer 29:11) I know you are hurting and I care deeply about it. (Psalm 78:38-39) You are the apple of my eye. (Deut 32:10). I will give you the peace that you so desperately want. (Hag 2:9) I know how badly you are hurting right no how you wish it would all go away. Hang in there. You are not going to believe how many awesome things I have in store for you. (2 Cor 4:17) You are worth fighting for. I am fighting for you. (Exodus 14:14) I will stomp on your enemies. (Psalm108:18). I can’t wait to introduce you to my father! When I do, I will tell Him that you are faultless. (Jude 24). The part about you that you think is the ugliest, I think is beautiful. (Romans 10:15).

When we live by faith and turn our eyes on Jesus, our screams of injustice can transform into shouts of praise. Dear friends, you are loved. You are worthy. You are precious and delightful. Be astounded by the miracle of your faith and the truth of what God sees in and says about you, and trust that He will deal with injustice. His ways are higher than our ways.

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Radical and Irrational

By | Agape Love | One Comment

In the last few weeks, I have had a couple people ask me why I have not been sharing any new blog posts. The answer is pretty simple. My brain is so full and although I am in a season of intense learning, I am ashamed that I am failing in something so central to the Christian faith. I don’t seem to ever get a break from this lesson. This week I have been given 3 teaching opportunities; the lessons I have been assigned are on “Forgiveness”, “Suffering”, and “Love that never fails”. As I prepare, I have been grieved by my failure in each of these areas.

Easter was just a few days ago. I cried tears of joy and thankfulness for my salvation. My hope is secure because my sins are forgiven. I want to live like Jesus lived, love like He does and forgive just like He has forgiven me, but I fall so short. The truth is, I really really want to obey. I have sought advice from wise, Christian counselors. I have prayed and studied and checked every box on every list I have been given on what I need to do. I find a modicum of peace in my willing spirit, obedience and all the checked boxes, but as soon as I think I might be over the hump, I am reminded of the injustice I suffered and I get all riled up again.

In my personal study time, I have been working through the most boring stretch of books in the Bible. I cannot wait to get out of Exodus, Numbers and Leviticus. These books are full of lists and laws. God, through Moses, shares tons of specific and rigorous rules that must be followed for the Israelites to have fellowship with God. These laws were clear, absolute and the only way until Jesus came and introduced a new and merciful new way. I understand how it must have been so hard for the religious leaders to embrace Jesus’s radical and irrational new way. With my love for rules and box-checking, I am pretty sure that I would have made a pretty good Pharisee.

The radical and irrational truth is that Jesus did change everything. Rule following has its merits, but those merits only produce moral people. When we embrace Jesus instead of rules and morality, we become sanctified. The lesson I keep having to learn is that I can’t do it. I can pretend to be good, but I am just not good. I can say I’m sorry and ask for forgiveness. I can do the right thing, check the box, bake the pie, but on my own, I will fail. I can fool a lot of people and be sweet and contribute to a peaceful atmosphere, but we were all meant for something more. Morality and sweetness is the equivalent of taking a knife to a gunfight; knives and guns are effective tools, but they fall egregiously short when juxtaposed with true ammunition. Jesus knew that in this sinful world we would need the big guns. He gave us His powerful Holy Spirit to help us be what we could never be on our own. We can love and forgive radically and irrationally. I am weak and I am a moral failure and I am so thankful for this realization. I need Jesus. I need Him every minute of every hour. When I am weak, He is strong and His strength is glorified in my weakness. It makes no sense that He would choose me and forgive me and die for me. It is radical and irrational, and because of His radical love and irrational new way, I can do anything. Oh dear friends, rejoice. He is risen, indeed. Please pray with me that in my life He would increase and I would decrease. … Wouldn’t that be radical?!

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”

John 15:4-5 (NLT)

 “And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] I want to do what is right, but I can’t.” Romans 7:18 (NLT)

 

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Dear moms and dads of Attractive Children

By | Dear Sons & Daughters | No Comments

Dear moms and dads of attractive children,

It is time to celebrate the beauty bestowed upon your child. I am not trying to tell you that the fact that your child has been blessed with physical beauty is the most important, but I wish you would stop saying that it isn’t important. Physical beauty is not eternal, but Jesus Christ is and He was present at creation and He knit that pretty child together and He decided to give them a temporal gift so He could be glorified, so stop dismissing compliments. Every good and perfect gift is from the Lord; this includes your brains and humor and skills and talents and money and your physical beauty.

In the past 24 hours, I have observed a few poignant things. I traveled to Kentucky for my cousin’s funeral, and and after visitation, I enjoyed catching up with family as we shared dinner. A precocious and beautiful 10 year old joined us for dinner. She entertained us with stories and trivia. She declared that she loves being smart, but when I asked her if she also likes being pretty, she said, “No… It’s embarrassing to be pretty.”

This morning, I attended the funeral. My cousin was beautiful. She was young and fun and fought her cancer with all her might. All the testimonies I read and heard about Elizabeth this week told of her kindness, willingness to help and lead and love. Elizabeth was undeniably pretty. She was a blue-eyed blonde athlete with a smile that dazzled you. She must have known she was beautiful, and she used her beauty to bless others. People are drawn to beauty but they don’t stick around if beauty is all you have to offer. Elizabeth seemed to figure that out and thousands were blessed by knowing her. She drew them in and then blessed the socks of them with all she had to offer.

As I continue to meditate and study through my chronological bible, I read this passage today about the last days of King David’s life.

“King David was now very old, and no matter how many blankets covered him, he could not keep warm. So his advisers told him, “Let us find a young virgin to wait on you and look after you, my lord. She will lie in your arms and keep you warm.” So they searched throughout the land of Israel for a beautiful girl, and they found, Abishag and brought her to the king. The girl was very beautiful, and she looked after the king and took care of him. But the king had no sexual relations with her.”

1 Kings 1:1-4 (NLT)

It is important to observe that the king’s faithful men searched all over for a physically beautiful girl. Their mission was to find a way to comfort their king. Abishag was beautiful; it is a key point in the passage. Beauty soothes and extends comfort to those who are confronted by it. This is the same reason why we find peace at the beach or the lake or the mountains. We are drawn to and comforted by beauty. It is also important to observe that Abishag didn’t use her beauty to seduce or titillate. She used it to comfort and serve the king.

I think many of us have contributed confusion to our culture when it comes to beauty, and so our daughters express that it is embarrassing to be pretty. We have taught them to dismiss and shrug off compliments about how pretty they are. Please stop this. Beauty is shallow when we view it as ours. Beauty is short-lived and off-putting when it is esteemed as the most important, but when we recognize beauty as a gift from God, it is a celebration. If God chose to make your daughter beautiful, teach her to rejoice and to say “Thank you”. Teach her to do some God-flaunting. Her beauty reflects God’s plan and design that He chose especially for her. She has been given the opportunity to comfort and serve and lead and evangelize with the help of this gift. It is a good and perfect gift given not for her glory, but for God’s. How exciting is it to embrace this and contribute your portion to the eternal things that matter.

 

“Forbid it Lord, that I should boast,

Save in the death of Christ my God!

All the vain things that charm me most,

I sacrifice them to His blood

Were the whole realm of nature mine,

That were a present far too small;

Love so amazing, so divine,

Demands my soul, my life, my all.”

Isaac Watts 1707

 

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 (ESV)

 

“Do not be deceived, dear brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of His own will He brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of His creatures.” James 1:16-18 (ESV)

 

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Please Feed the Dogs

By | Dear Sons & Daughters | No Comments

Yesterday morning as I prepared to leave town, I went through the necessary mental checklist: Did I pack everything? Did I have my credit card, boarding pass, and license? Were the carpools covered, and most importantly, did I remind the kids to feed the dogs?

The dogs must be fed while I am away. I told each child separately and all together, “Be sure one of you feeds the dogs everyday.” I told Pat. I left it in a note and then I texted them again this morning.

There are lots of important things I want my family to remember when I am out of town, but feeding the dogs is paramount to me. I know that they get rushed and distracted in the morning. Fixing breakfast, getting dressed, double checking homework and making it to school on time are all obstacles keeping them from remembering that the dogs need to be fed. I understand. I get busy and distracted too. It’s not that I don’t trust them to feed the dogs; it’s just very important to me and no matter how crazy their morning is, they might have a better chance of remembering the dogs if I am vigilant about reminding them.

The truth is, I probably only needed to say it one time. My family knows that feeding the dogs is important.

When instructions are important, they bear repeating. They aren’t repeated to badger or exhaust and they aren’t repeated due to a lack of faith in the recipient.

In Genesis 28:15, God tells us that He will never leave us.

The God of the Universe said this in the first chapter of the Bible. Everything He says is true and we should believe Him, but he didn’t quit telling us after He said it in Genesis. He repeats it over and over again all throughout the Bible.

Our loving and wonderful Heavenly Father knows that we get distracted by the busyness of this world. He knows that we get burdened by guilt. He knows that we get scared and sad and confused and He wants us to remember that He is always with us and will never leave us. It is very important to God that we remember this promise, and so He repeats it over and over again. He doesn’t remind us to exhaust or badger us. He doesn’t remind us because He thinks we are stupid. He repeats this over and over again, because it is important to Him and paramount for us to remember.

Oh dear precious friends and family, Hold tight to this truth and repeated promise: God is with us, and He will never let us go.

 

“I will never leave you or forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 (NIV)

“Behold I am with you and will keep you wherever you go.” Genesis 28:15 (NIV)

“Be strong and of good courage; do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)

“When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me.” Psalm 27:10 (NIV)

“Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20 (NIV)

“I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.” John 14:18 (NIV)