There is so much going on… big stuff and so much of it is encased in heartache. The Supreme Court has made a decision that has affected every American. We are debating and praying and learning new ways to live and love. Racial tensions are still extreme and as we debate these problems too, our hopes for healing seem hard to hold on to. This weekend while picking up and dropping off 2 of my campers, I learned that my precious cousin had lost her battle with breast cancer. As my girls were crying about leaving camp, I could not hold back my tears over the tragic loss of such a precious woman. My brain and heart are maxed out and I am not smart enough to make sense of it all.
When we arrived home from the camp fetch and dump, I immediately headed to my garden. It brings me peace and it brings me added joy when I have been gone for a few summer days. I am always thrilled to see what has grown or ripened and my harvest hands itch to get to my crop. As I walked around the corner to the garden, I could not believe my eyes. Everything was gone. Every tomato, cucumber, squash, berry, pepper, watermelon and even all the dahlias and zinnias were gone. The pillaging appears to be human and totally complete. As the swarms of evening mosquitoes feasted on my ankles, I wandered around the small perimeter of my happy place looking for any tiny remnants of my summer project. My full brain and stretched heart collided with my disappointment and I cried and laughed at the same time. I must have looked like a lunatic. Everything was ransacked. I wanted to figure out a positive spin on the pillaging, but I couldn’t. There were no lemons to make lemonade with.
When bad stuff happens, the pervasive and bland instruction we globally get is keep your chin up. Christians are told to rejoice always, but I always feel that I have to understand in order to rejoice. I need to be given a promise or glimpse into how the future will pan out. I need to understand why a young mom had to die, or why a teenager would kill 9 people at a prayer meeting. I know God has a reason for everything, but I feel like I need Him to share it with me if I am going to be able to authentically rejoice.
I grew up in the Amy Grant 80’s and unintentionally incorporated some of her lyrics into my belief system:
“Angels watching over me every step I take… God only knows the times my life was threatened just today. A reckless car ran out of gas before it ran my way.”
I do believe that God is watching over me and sees everything and is on the throne and has a plan and it is good, but I also need to humble myself and remember that I am not entitled to know what His plan is. I am not always privy to realizing that a “reckless car ran out of gas before it ran my way.” The reason we rejoice is NOT because we can SEE how the heartaches and trials during our time on earth turn out for the better. We rejoice because we know who God is. We rejoice because His way is always best…even when we don’t understand. We rejoice because He is sovereign. We rejoice that we are not God. We rejoice that He keeps His promises. We rejoice because He is coming again to take us home.
When life is tragic and confusing and our brains and hearts are full and we can’t make sense of anything, we rejoice. We rejoice that this is not our real home. We are not called to understand. We are called to obey and rejoice. He is enjoyable.
He has numbered our days and has counted every hair on our heads. He collects our tears. He establishes kingdoms and He knocks them down. He made my garden grow and knows it is gone. He is good. He is always good. Rejoice always, and again I say rejoice.
“God reigns over the nations;
God sits on His holy throne.
For the shields of the earth belong to God;
He is greatly exalted.” Psalm 47:8-9 (NKJV)
“Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:4-9 (NKJV)