Deceived

Life has its ups and downs. It seems that some seasons in life deliver sharper climbs and drops. I cannot think of a trial in life that pitches people into the deep pit of hurt more than the experience of being deceived. If you have been deceived, I bet you agree. When our trust is betrayed, we feel angry, violated and stupid.

In the recent past, Pat and I were whiplashed by deception. We experienced the pain of anger, violation and stupidity and we were furious with the deceiver, but in addition, I was also mad at God. I had been thanking God for months for showing me great blessing. I was so thankful that God had demonstrated blessing on this very area in my life. I was journaling about it and thanking Him specifically for victory in this, and then in one earthquake of a moment, I discovered that it was all a lie. I felt so stupid for thanking God for something that was a façade. I didn’t understand why God wouldn’t clue me in. Why would He let me go on and on, month after month, thanking Him for something He knew was a sham?

As I wrestled with my anger at God, I discovered something fascinating and beautiful. I was given some understanding of what Jesus’s disciples must have felt like when He was crucified. These men had given up their jobs and families and everything to follow Jesus for 3 years. They dropped everything because they believed He was the long-awaited Messiah. The Messiah was supposed to establish a new kingdom of peace and rescue God’s people from the oppressive Roman government. The disciples were thankful every day as they followed Jesus and they showed their hope and thankfulness with their whole lives, and then Jesus died. The anointed one who was supposed to save them and be their king was crucified. They were scared, confused, hurt, and they must have felt deceived.

The disciples were not deceived; their understanding of thankfulness was just too small.

As they hid in their homes and nursed their broken hearts, the disciples didn’t know how misplaced their feelings of being deceived were. Jesus WAS the appointed Messiah. He would save them and He would do it in a much bigger fashion than they could begin to dream of. Jesus came to die. He never lied to them about that. His death was the pivotal point in establishing His role as Messiah. The disciples were too small in their understanding. 3 days later, their hope was restored. When Jesus conquered death and rose from the grave, unimaginable hope and joy was introduced to all of us.

Like the disciples, we are tempted to doubt God or question His ways when we can’t make sense of our earthly circumstances. I floated in a sea of  doubt because my understanding was just too small. No matter what happens in our situation, I have no reason to doubt God and I have every reason to be thankful for the specifics in our predicament. God’s ways are higher than our ways. He is all-wise and He knows what the future holds. He instructs us to have a thankful heart. He graciously receives our thanksgiving even when we don’t fully know what we are thanking Him for.

I don’t know if you have ever thanked God for your health or relationships or job security or commitments from coaches, schools or colleagues only to find out that the thing you were thankful for was actually sick, compromised, faulty or broken. I am so sorry if you have and have felt deceived or stupid. We live in a fallen world, full of pain and perversion, but God is bigger. His Kingdom is coming. His will is being done and we have the privilege of thanking Him for all He is doing…. Even when we don’t understand it.

“I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.” Psalm 9:1 (NIV)

 

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-36 (NIV)