Has there ever been someone in your life that loves to pick a fight, or loves to gossip? Have you ever avoided situations or screened phone calls because you knew you would leave the interaction beaten down, exhausted, or hurt? My testimony is “Yes”. I have been an avoider and have been counseled to avoid, but I always feel guilty when I do. I don’t mind participating in the messiness of relationship. As Followers of Christ, we are called to get messy. It is often uncomfortable to be salty in a world that craves syrup and saccharin. It can be unnerving to leave our safe, sweet bubbles and do life with the sick, poor, and orphaned, but it is the life Jesus modeled for us. Jesus ate with the tax collectors and spent time with the prostitutes. He healed the sick and touched the lepers. He cried with the broken hearted and he got messy. He was mocked and bullied and persecuted by Pharisees, but I can’t find a place in scripture where he personally sought them out. They followed him around and challenged everything he said. When they challenged him, he met their challenge and stood up for righteousness, but he also avoided them:
“Now when Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples than John (although Jesus himself did not baptize, but only his disciples), he left Judea and departed again for Galilee.” John 4:1-3 (ESV)
“Then the Pharisees called a meeting to plot how to kill Jesus, But Jesus knew what they were planning. So he left that area” Matthew 12:14-15a (NLT)
See also: Matthew 16:4 and Mark 8:13. Ephesians 5:10-11, John 7:1
I am sure that if the Pharisees approached Jesus with a broken heart, seeking reconciliation, he would have forgiven them. He loves the humble and contrite in heart and is quick to forgive. We should make it our passion to model this behavior of Jesus and in all the ways he lived, therefore, if we are modeling Jesus, there is no reason to feel guilty for avoiding unhealthy and destructive attacks.
We can also look at the apostle Paul. Paul was no stranger to persecution and conflict. In 2 Corinthians 11:23-28, Paul gives a long list of all he suffered as a Christian. He was beaten….a lot, imprisoned, starved, shipwrecked, bitten by a poisonous snake, stoned and robbed. He suffered persecution gladly as it conformed him to Christ and advanced the gospel, but Paul did not ever stand in a shipyard and think, I really love this persecution…. I think I will look for the rattiest old boat, with the most holes it. I want to get on one that is filled with poisonous snakes and robbers who will use rods to beat me silly.
Jesus and Paul were persecuted and they rejoiced that these trials were part of God’s plan. They got messy and engaged in relationship, but they were also wise enough to know when to walk away.We also can observe that towards the end of Jesus’s ministry, he did not avoid the pharisees. When the time was right, Jesus made his way back into Pharisee country (Judea) and received the full measure of their brutal attacks. He even accepted their dinner invitations, and he used those times to speak the truth to them (Luke 11:37-54). He knew when to walk away, but he also knew that he would have to engage with them in order to complete the work God had appointed him to. With Jesus and Paul as our models, we should see that there is no reason or room for guilt when we avoid conflict; there are appropriate times to avoid and walk away.When the time is right, we need to reengage. We will have to embrace the persecution that comes from our own personal pharisees. We WILL be persecuted when we pursue Christ and the ministry God has appointed us to.
I want to conclude with an excerpt I read in a blog by Rachel Held Evans:
“Christians must find a way to teach radical forgiveness, undeserved grace, and restorative reconciliation without perpetuating and excusing bullying and abuse. The life to which Jesus calls us is an abundant one, a joyful one, and a just one. It isn’t always easy, and it certainly requires self-sacrifice, but God does not delight in the suffering of His children. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,” Jesus said, “and I will give you rest.
“Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.” 1 John 2:6 (NLT)
Your words are so precious, almost as if we are having a private conversation over coffee. Because I doubt you even know I am reading your blog, I know you cannot possibly be writing just to me. I also know God is using you to speak to and touch others. Thank you for having the courage and faith to do this! I am blessed to have you in my life!