Why do the bad guys keep winning? Why do neighbors hate each other? Why do cheaters win? Why do liars get their minute in the limelight? Why do children get cancer and good men die young and mean people live to be 100? I hate sin. I grieve over my sin. Why does God keep convicting and working on me while letting criminals and cheaters and liars off the hook?
These questions took over all my thoughts this morning as my prayers became aggressive shouts mixed with tears. (Poor Kevin and Donut. My tears and shouts made them very nervous.) Have you ever been there? Please tell me that I am not the only one who professes to be a Christian but still gets so mad at God.
Faith really is a miracle. The transformation that takes place in a heart, so that the eternal is more important than the temporal is amazing. This thinking is so unnatural; it just doesn’t make sense. When I look at the pattern of injustice and how evil continues to boast and take victory laps, I am astounded that I can still say, “I trust you, God.”
As I was moaning about temporal trials this morning, the truth that God’s ways and thoughts are higher than mine interrupted my tirade. I responded to this truth with, “I know (sigh). I know, but it just doesn’t seem fair!” I asked God to smite and discipline offenders and encourage and elevate the innocent, and I remembered that God doesn’t give us a stone when we ask for bread. Because I trust He knows better, I am humble enough to realize it’s possible I am asking for stones and He is giving me delicious and satisfying bread instead. As unpleasant as His discipline is, I know it is a display of His love for me. He disciplines those He loves.
As my blood pressure returned to a healthier level, I remembered this verse:
“Many, O Lord are your wonderful works which you have done; and your thoughts toward me cannot be recounted in order; if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.” Psalm 40:5 (NKJV)
… and then I wished I could read that list of His thoughts toward me.
This morning, you may feel like screaming at God. Your circumstances may feel like more than you can bear, or maybe not. No matter what is going on in your life right now, everyone needs to be reminded of that list. Here is a portion (in the vernacular of Catherine) of what God says about you:
I will never leave you. I will never turn my back on you (Josh 1:5) I will never lie to you. (Numbers 23:19) I am faithful. You can trust me. (Deut. 7:9) I think about you more than a nursing mom thinks about her baby. (Is 49:15) I am always with you and I will save you. When I look at you, I sing songs of gladness, because you are mine and I love you. (Zeph 3:17) I have great things in store for you. Be hopeful about your future. (Jer 29:11) I know you are hurting and I care deeply about it. (Psalm 78:38-39) You are the apple of my eye. (Deut 32:10). I will give you the peace that you so desperately want. (Hag 2:9) I know how badly you are hurting right no how you wish it would all go away. Hang in there. You are not going to believe how many awesome things I have in store for you. (2 Cor 4:17) You are worth fighting for. I am fighting for you. (Exodus 14:14) I will stomp on your enemies. (Psalm108:18). I can’t wait to introduce you to my father! When I do, I will tell Him that you are faultless. (Jude 24). The part about you that you think is the ugliest, I think is beautiful. (Romans 10:15).
When we live by faith and turn our eyes on Jesus, our screams of injustice can transform into shouts of praise. Dear friends, you are loved. You are worthy. You are precious and delightful. Be astounded by the miracle of your faith and the truth of what God sees in and says about you, and trust that He will deal with injustice. His ways are higher than our ways.