When I was a young girl (pre-kindergarten), I was in a really horrible carpool. Once everyone was picked up, the oldest girl in the carpool would whisper to all the other children whom they were to gang up on for the day. Everyone agreed and then called the targeted child names and showered her with the insults that only mean little girls can manufacture. The ganging up included pinching and hair pulling and it didn’t end until you were dropped off back at home in the afternoon. I still remember the relief when it wasn’t “Gang up on Catherine Day”. I also remember participating in the subversive attacks when I wasn’t the target. I took no joy in calling names, but I knew that if I didn’t participate, I would be back on the chopping block the next day. It was awful.
I hope you are horrified reading this account and also hope you have no way to identify with the pain. I am sorry to tell you that it still is going on. I am not aware of any carpools or clubs that identify themselves as “Gang up Groups”, but I have watched my children weep over being ostracized and gossiped about. I have heard lies spread about my family and it has infuriated and crushed me. Sadly, I know that we also have been instigators of gossip and exclusion. It is crazy to me how quickly a conversation can turn to gossip. I believe my guilt lies in just listening to it. Even if I never utter a negative word in an unhealthy conversation, I have given this gossip-beast ammunition by not walking away.
When it was “Gang up on Catherine Day”, I didn’t tell my parents; I just kept it inside for fear I might sadden or disappoint them. Today, when it seems the world is ganging up or rejecting me, I am quick to take it to the Lord, and that is the same counsel I give my children and anyone who will listen. School has just started and team selections and sorority rush…. and the dreaded carpool. There are dozens of situations on our calendar that can serve us doses of pain and rejection, and there are just as many opportunities for us to include and embrace the brokenhearted.
If you or your children feel ganged up on, please remember that there is one who will always listen and can offer you the balm that your pain so desperately needs. Let Him know how you are hurting and receive his healing touch.
If He has been gracious enough to open your eyes to those hurting around you, praise him and model his behavior by embracing the broken, and for goodness sake, if you are aware that a conversation you are involved in just took the ugly turn to gossip town, shut it down or at least walk away.
“Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. 13 Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.” 1 Peter 4:12-13 (NLT)
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:15-16 (NIV)