Dear Sons & Daughters Archives - Page 6 of 6 - Catherine Nelson

I am almost to the end of the Old Testament in my chronological bible, and boy, I sure am ready for Jesus. Today’s reading was a bunch of genealogies, and as I raced over the unfamiliar names, I made special note of the names I recognized (Boaz, Judah, Jesse, etc.). Skimming lists of names is not unusual for any of us. We look for our kids’ names in box scores, and our names listed as contributors to annual funds. As a child, I would always flip through my school’s address book to double check that here were 2*’s by my name (hutch alums understand). We check, because we want to be recognized; we need to matter. We feel the need to belong. The OT genealogies did the same thing for their tribes and families.

I belong to amazing parents and a wonderful husband. I sign letters all the time using my full name. Pat and I named all of our children after family members. We are building a legacy and hope it will continue. We are not alone as parents to yearn for our children to follow in our footsteps. I am still holding out hope that one of my kids will go to The University of Kentucky, but my greatest prayer is that they will love Jesus. Of all the lists they will have their names written on, the only one that matters is the list of names on that final judgment day.

I look like my mom and I have her sense of humor. I am diligent like my dad and have his competitive spirit. My children are tapestries made up of different quirks and qualities inherited from their parents. They are not especially pleased with everything they inherited, or with everything I try to teach them, but they will likely never question what I care about the most. I love Jesus. I love their dad, and I love them. That is the legacy I am trying to build and one that I pray will carry on for generations to come.

“I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.” 2 Timothy 1:5 (NIV)

“I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.” 2 Timothy 1:12b (NIV)

In 2001, we set out to adopt a little Russian girl. We were scared, and our fright was heightened when we met our 8lb….11 month old. She was glassy-eyed and silent for our first 24 hours together, but things changed dramatically. About 12 hours before we boarded our Aeroflot-can in the sky trip home, we learned the little Russian had lungs. In fact everyone within a ½ mile of this new Nelson family learned it quite well. She was inconsolable and was the aeronautical disturbance that you are not warned about, but often disconcerted by while flying. Soon after take off, our Russian flight attendant came to our aisle, and literally grabbed her out of Pat’s arms. We were alarmed and shocked, and although the seat belt sign was still on, Pat got up and followed the brazen flight attendant and screaming tiny Russian down the aisle. With gestures, tears and smiles and loads of confidence, the flight attendant communicated that she was trying to soothe the baby. She knew the language that M2 was used to hearing. She knew that she could communicate to our child in a way we didn’t understand.

Lately, I have found my self (figuratively) screaming and crying, because I don’t understand. Life continues to take all of us out of a world that we have grown used to and thrust new and foreign experiences and people on us that freak us out. I totally identify with my tiny screaming Russian, because I’m so quick to forget that what I am in the middle of is actually a GREAT thing. I have to trust that the Father who adopted me, loves me and has so much He wants to show me and bless me with. I also know that when I am distraught or scared, I have an “attendant” who knows what I need. My helper, the Holy Spirit, speaks the language and intercedes for me. He groans for me, encourages me and when I don’t even know how to pray, takes up my case for me. Dear friends, we are family. We have been adopted by the best father ever, and no matter how confusing or scary life seems to be, we have hope and a holy adversary who understands our hurt, grabs us up, embraces us and speaks the very language we need to hear. Be comforted as you listen to His voice.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Romans 8:26 (NKJV)

I had a plan that began in Jr. High. When I would play the category game, “MASH”, I listed “Memphis” as one of the places I wanted to live, “John Schneider” (aka Bo Duke) as a man I might marry, and “meteorologist” as one of my desired occupations. I have long since graduated from Jr. High, but I continue to build lists and dreams of what my life should and could look like. My wish lists include ways I think my children should spend their time, use their talents and build their brand. These kids, for the most part, have had different ideas about their future. Their paths and mine continue to take sharp turns and fly off ramps into new directions, but the constant and steadiest hope in my life has been Jesus. I just want Him and I want to know him and be ready to follow him on whatever path he points out to me.

This has been one of the hardest years I have lived… and I have been studying the Old Testament for the entire year. I have been aching for some Jesus, and yesterday, as I turned the page to the New Testament, my heart burst with joy and goose bumps covered my arms as I soaked up the fullness of studying our long-expected Jesus. I was so blessed to read about Zechariah and Elizabeth who had their plans and dreams denied for decades. They ached for children and prayed for the opportunity to pass on their legacy. They served the Lord and lived in eager anticipation for the Messiah to arrive.

They received the stunning news from Gabriel that they would indeed become parents, and their boy would prepare the way for the long-expected Jesus. Zechariah doubted, and as a result, was struck deaf and mute. When Elizabeth delivered their miracle baby, all her God-fearing, well-meaning friends were set to celebrate their opportunity to live out their legacy dream, but when these friends pressed her about the name of the child, Elizabeth and Zechariah were firm in their resolve that the child’s name would not be Zechariah or any other family name; this child will be called “John”. (Luke 1:11-63)

The plan for this baby was a huge surprise to his parents, and their choice of a name was confusing to their religious friends, but Zechariah and Elizabeth were obedient and faithful as they waited for the promised messiah. They were students of God’s word and faithful to his calling. Good people, who tried to help Zechariah and Elizabeth make a reasonable decision, surrounded them but Zechariah and Elizabeth knew that the only decision was to obey God’s word. They knew that God’s word alone is the spiritual food that nourishes. There is no substitute.

Zechariah wrote, “His name is John.” And instantly, he could speak again, and he began praising God. Awe fell on the whole neighborhood. Luke 1:63b-65a (NLT)

Life often doesn’t make sense and the dreams we hold so tightly to can change in a blink, but Jesus is constant and awaiting his return is our thrilling and certain hope. Putting our hope in Him and trusting him when things make no sense is the only way to keep our feet and purpose sure. The loving and well-meaning voices of your neighbors and family and friends are not enough. Devotionals and well-written blogs are not enough. We must be students of God’s word. Jesus is the way and the truth and the life. He is our firm foundation. Our long-expected Messiah will return, and as we obediently wait, we get to witness the miracles and kept promises he never fails to deliver.

I actually really love my mom. She is one of my best friends and we talk almost every day, but back in the 80’s, my mom was parenting 4 teenagers and she was exposed to our foolish hate. Whether it was voiced to sisters or friends or carved in the dining room table, she was wounded by our hateful declarations.

This week, Pat and I had to lay down the law with one of our teens. This was not the first week that I got to read or hear “I hate mom!”, but it never feels real good. It was funnier when the words were delivered from a toddler who wasn’t allowed 3 cupcakes for dinner, but it becomes less amusing when it comes from a semi-adult. I know many of you cannot identify with this wound, but I bet many more of you can. We love to be loved and cherished and receive mother’s day cards telling us we are wonderful. Pat’s favorite coffee mug is his “World’s #1 dad” mug.

Almost every time I have to learn a hard “Mom” lesson, I also learn more about my Heavenly Father’s love for me. God has lavishly poured gifts all over me. My future and hope is so bright and beautiful, but when He says “No” to my petitions or teaches me through discipline, I pout and rant and don’t want to spend time with Him. I am guilty of acting like a petulant child who didn’t get her cupcakes. My Heavenly Father loves me so much. He has given me so much more than I ever dreamed of giving my children, and I know my selfishness and shortsightedness wounds Him.

If I love Him, I will keep His commandments (John 14:15-NIV) If I love Him, I will feed his sheep. (John: 21 16-NIV) I cannot love God and hate my brother (1 John . 4:20-NIV). I love my Heavenly Father and the thought of wounding Him breaks my heart.

The painful blow I received from one of my own this week is a reason to rejoice. Once again, God is teaching me His love for me by entrusting me with children of my own. Whether this lesson is persecution or a reminder of my own sin, it is a reason to rejoice. God teaches and disciplines those He loves. He is the perfect model for parenting and I am so beautifully blessed that He claims me as His daughter. Today is a day for all of us to rejoice and learn and look for ways to show Him how much we love Him.

Oh dear brothers and sisters, Rejoice. Our Father is quick to forgive and loves embracing you in is strong and unfailing arms.

Yesterday, my mother dropped by during the bewitching hour. I was between carpools and cooking projects, when one of the Nelson teenagers (for the sake of the analogy, this child will now be called “the boy”) sluggishly waded into the kitchen. “The boy” was hungry and asked if I would fix him something to eat. School was boring and there was still a lot to do before dinnertime. I quickly created meal option 3 and as the boy sluggishly waded out of my kitchen, I received a half-hearted, “Thanks mom.” …..to which I responded, “My pleasure.”. My mother started laughing and then tried to help me figure out at what stage in the book, “The Giving Tree” was Catherine the tree. We concluded that I have for certain lost all my apples, my leaves and limbs are likely gone too, but I still am standing pretty strong and tall, so I must not be quite to the stump stage yet.

As grown ups, it seems that we are “the tree” in most of our relationships. We serve our spouses, children, parents, friends, co-workers and neighbors until we feel like stumps. We live in a world that is filled with “boys” on the take. It can wear a tree out. In our relationship with Jesus, we get to be “the boy”. He asks us to come, enjoy, and be nourished by his fruit. He wants to fill us with joy as we swing from his branches. His name is a strong tower. The righteous run to it and are safe (Prov 18:10). When we serve Him, we don’t become less…. We become more. When we give Him our time and talents and gifts and apples, he gives us more. You may feel like a stump today in a lot of your relationships, but be encouraged that Jesus who is our tree of shelter and strength and wisdom and life loves you, because you are his “boy”.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” – Lamentations 3:22-24 (ESV)

This past week was middle school conference time for the Nelson girls. During the conclusion of Catey’s conference, she was given the opportunity to grade her over-all assessment of how her life is going right now. She gave herself a pretty low score. She expanded on this thought by explaining how that with her back fractured, she cannot play basketball or volleyball and she is the happiest version of herself when she is competing athletically. The reality of being “benched” makes her unhappy.

Her answer broke my heart, but also challenged my thinking. What makes me happy? I am so happy when my whole family gets to gather around my dinner table and enjoy great food and conversation and laughter, but with one off at college and 3 busy teens, those nights are rare. I am happy when I get to watch my kids compete and succeed in sports, but those days are numbered too. With all due respect to Bobby McFerrin, I don’t think you can just “Be Happy”. You can choose circumstances and hobbies and relationships that make you happy, but I believe happiness is at its core, circumstantial. I am a very thankful person, but I don’t know if I am a happy person. I do celebrate many happy moments every day, and I have learned to be content in most circumstances, but I hope my positive countenance is a reflection of a joyful heart. The bible is chock full of commands to rejoice always, and to consider it joy when you face trials. Ps 50:23 says,” Whoever offers praise glorifies me.” Life will throw us curve balls like fractured backs, empty nests, and cloudy days, but no matter what our circumstances are, we CAN choose joy.

I’m still studying the life of David in my chronological Bible and have witnessed David choosing joy in the midst of horrible circumstances. His enemies are attacking him, his children are spreading lies about him and his job is under threat, but He trusts the Lord. He lists the terrible circumstances all through the psalms and after each cry, he says, “But God”, or “But I will call on God”, or “But You O God”. David knows that God is faithful and so he faithfully rejoices.

As a Christian, I want to be more and more like Jesus., but does that mean I have to be happy all the time? Jesus endured the cross and despised the shame, but for the JOY of redeeming me and for the JOY of giving me life, He died for me. I may not always be happy, but I have the BEST reason to be joyful.

Oh precious friends, I pray that today will be joy-filled for all of you! XO

Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. – Hebrews 12:1b-3 (NIV)