It feels inauthentic to share with you how I am learning through a tough time without giving nitty gritty details, but there are some things in life that are so wrong and hurtful, it is just stupid to let the offense pollute or swell. I feel so blessed to have been knocked down and to have had the opportunity to learn and grow. Everyone has stuff. There isn’t a person on the planet that doesn’t understand pain. As I have been dealing with mine, I have done lots of writing and journaling to help me remember and to help me mentally work through it. I have written lots of blogs that will never be posted. Pain comes in all shapes and forms; the one thing that is constant is the one who heals our pain. I have experienced anger, betrayal, confusion and fear while persistently seeking the Lord and His healing touch. His touch and His word do heal. It is incredibly beautiful to sit here today and write about the gladness He has put in my heart in the midst of a nasty storm.
Earlier this week, I shared with you my frustration with God. I wanted God to quit stalling and get to vindicating. I wanted Him to smite and punish and avenge. (Screaming at God). I was reeling around in my anger, and I hate being angry. I was itchin for a fight and I really hated the itch. I want to love like Jesus does. I want to forgive like He has forgiven me and I knew that He would have to do something miraculous on my heart if I would ever be able to glorify Him during this season.
God’s word, the prayers of the saints and the power of the Holy Spirit are the tools God uses to preform the miracles we cry out for. He fights for us.
I trust Him to fight. None of the details in my situation or yours surprises God. He is the God of truth and light. His light exposes and eradicates the darkness. A very wise friend asked me if I had claimed one specific bible verse during this trail. Although I hadn’t intentionally done so, there was a verse that broke through my pain and thoughts the hour all of this began. It actually was just a portion of a verse:
“Whatsoever things are true…. meditate on these things.” Phil. 4:8 (NKJV)
I have meditated on this verse and other truths for weeks now and I can say without hesitation that doing so has allowed me to rejoice.
I wish I learned as much during easy seasons in life. It would be wonderful if God conformed me to the likeness of His son through vacations, economic security, health, and beautiful celebrations. I learn more from difficult times. I spend more time on my knees, thirsting for God’s wisdom and seeking the Holy Spirit’s guidance when I have been knocked down. Each time the howling winds of hurt knock me over, I grow and I get up. God uses all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28), and what could be better than growing to be more like Jesus? We are to consider it pure joy when we face trials, because it is these very things that perfect our faith (1 Peter 1:6-9).
God is the one who reveals my righteousness. My battle is not proving how right I am. I don’t have to waste firepower shooting back at my enemies. The captain of Heaven’s armies is fighting for me. I get to sing and shout about how great He is. If I am really itchin for a fight, I am called to fight the Lord’s battles. I am a soldier equipped to fight for the poor and poor in spirit. God can handle my enemies. He has given me the chance to fight for peace, light and truth.
The devil is our enemy. He loves to wound and destroy. He sends in floods of wickedness and trouble, but God will establish a strong wall to keep the floodwaters from overtaking you. When we trust in His strength and capability, and let Him stand in front of us, we emerge from the floodwaters clean and beautiful. We don’t have to let anger and bitterness stick to us like the mud and silt of a disastrous flood.
We can come out of the furnace like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego and not even smell like smoke. (Daniel 3:27)
God is so good; His grace is Amazing. His mercies are new every morning. Let Him fight. Trust Him. Rejoice in the trials He is using to sanctify you. Do not let bitterness and lies leave any nasty silt on you. He is with you in the furnace and if you meditate on whatsoever things are true, you can come out of the furnace radiant. Instead of wallowing in the pain inflicted, sing about the savior. Embrace the chance to be a sweet aroma; Leave the pain of the burn behind without a scent of lingering smoke.
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Phil 4:8 (NKJV)